A Little "Earthy Crunchy Granola"

It all started with a game of BINGO! About four years ago my mom and I were at a charity Bingo game and while I didn’t win any of the bingo games, I did win a raffle. My prize was a gift certificate to something called Pitaiyo (Pilates, Tai Chi, and Yoga). That gift certificate sat in my dresser for a little over a year and I was so glad when I finally got around to using it, it was still valid. Thus began my Earthy Crunchy Granola journey. My favorite part about it at first was just someone telling me how to breathe. In the first year of my teaching career I didn’t really do much breathing. Three years later here I am, listening to someone tell me how to breathe on a nightly basis (meditation y’all).

The school year ending this Friday feels just surreal. It's kind of one of those "too good to be true” feelings. This year has been a year of learning experiences (and that is putting it nicely). So much soul searching, digging for motivation, asking for help, etc. was what this year was made of. And to be honest, I didn't think I'd make it to the end in one piece. Or with any semblance of sanity left. I hope and pray this year was just a season in my career because I do not see myself doing anything other than work with individuals with disabilities and I also don't like the idea of being a "burnout". That's where the earthy crunchy granola comes in really handy.

To be honest I have a little idea of how I survived (And with only a handful of public breakdowns and lots of venting (winning!)). It all has to do with a little Hippy Dippy, Woo Woo, Earthy Crunchy Granola and ACCEPTANCE. This year I have grown so much spiritually. Every misstep, every wrong thing said, every mistake, every struggle, lends an opportunity for me to draw closer to God. To have a relationship with my Creator and be willing to step out of the way to let Him do HIS work. I can’t do that when I’m running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I have to be still. I have to meditate on His word. I have to take care of this body I have been given. I have to slow down my mind and LISTEN. I notice when I get too busy for the things I know work (prayer, meditation, journaling) everything is just so much. . . Harder.

This past school year, as bad as things got sometimes, I experienced more tears because of joy, the feeling of God surrounding me, and laughter than ever before in my entire life. I have so much more compassion for those around me. Monday I was given a reminder that I, Lindsay Caroline Rose, do not have any problems. If the greatest struggle I have is work related, I’m in a really good place. It hasn’t always been that way. For so long I was drowning in a sea of self loathing, self pity, frustration, and fear. I am slowly learning how to manage life on life’s terms and working with myself not against. And that is accomplished, like everything else, one day at a time. Some days are much better than others. Some days I’m spiritually fit and others I’m just glad I got through the day without having to apologize to someone. I am starting to realize, that’s OKAY! That’s life!

I honestly can’t say what the year would have been like without these spiritual tools. Probably wouldn’t have signed that contract on June 1 stating I will be back for another wild ride in August.  I know I will face more challenges in the years to come. I will probably be faced with many challenges as early as tomorrow. But for right now, my heart is full of peace. A peace that came with a release of control and complete surrender. A peace that will be there if I keep the faith and do the things I know work for me.

 I’m grateful for the struggle. I’m grateful for the hardships. And let’s be honest, I’m grateful the last day of school is Friday.

May sunbeams find you!

Lindsay