Monday, June 2, 2014

Crying on a Backpack

I had a bit of a "moment" this evening. After reviewing assignments for the upcoming week, I realized I missed three from the previous week. Participation points, yes, but still I find it unacceptable. I have held myself to a much higher standard in this Masters program than I ever had before. Looking at my June calendar I am feeling a bit on the "busy" side. Work is a mandatory, then add some 20 hours for grad school, some doctors appointments, mom's surgery, and then some really fun things planned on the weekends. I really do enjoy being busy, but I am also someone who enjoys Criminal Minds marathons and naps. 

This evening when I got on to see I had missed some assignments, I had my "moment" and emailed my professor about dropping the course. I also texted my friends I wouldn't be able to go kayaking this weekend (a trip that's been planned for over a month). After a quick response that my grade is not tarnished and that I should be able to catch up (but withdrawing is still an option), I had to take a step back. I have some busy things going on right now, but what is it going to be a year from now? When I am teaching or involved in other things? How would I fit it all in then? And how in the heck does anyone do this college (grad/undergrad/associates/ANY OF IT) with a spouse and kids?! There's a reason God thumped on my heart that this is the time for me to be pursuing this. 

One of those little quote-y things that makes its way around Facebook, Instagram, and Pintrest is, "Do something today your future self will thank you for". Welp- today this is it. I'm not withdrawing, I'm not canceling on my friends. I'm going to suck it up, work twice as hard as I have been, and put my daily calendar to good use. 

Maybe I will miss out on a nap, and maybe I won't watch TV this week, but I've got to get to it. Who knows where I will be in a year, but I know I want this particular class completed. If I'm busy now, chances are I will always be busy. Sounds like life. I think I'd like to go back in time and have a serious talk to my younger self when I whined the words, "I'm booooooored". 

It's going to be a full summer, but I've also got to make time for the fun stuff too. Like baseball games, concerts, kayaking, baby showers, and trips to a village safari. I've just got to learn to focus and plan, plan and focus. And maybe utilize my dry shampoo more often. 

My future self will thank me. 

May sunbeams find you!