My Dad

When I was fourteen years old, my dad came to me and said if I ever had any questions about ANYTHING to come to him. At the time, I had no idea what he meant. These past few years, I slowly (mistake after mistake after mistake) began to understand. Throughout all of my slip ups and shortcomings, my dad has been there. To talk to, to cry to, to laugh about, and to just "be" there. I don't think there is anyone who quite understands me like my dad does. So, yesterday being Father's Day and all, I narrowed it down to 10 Great Dad moments: 

1) That time when I was about six and listened to the Eric Clapton song "Tears in Heaven" on repeat for an entire day. It made me so sad and I would not stop crying- all I wanted was my dad home with me. My mom called him and he left work and came home just to make me feel better. (And for later for taking me to see Eric Clapton, himself live. I was ten. My Dad was awesome.) 

2) Playing Candy Land with me for HOURS. 

3) SO many Backstreet Boys, Britney Spears, O-Town, and Aaron Carter concerts. And putting me on his shoulders to get a better view.

4) Not telling mom when he caught me watching Friends in my room when I was little and I wasn't old enough to watch it.

5) The many hours of overtime and side jobs he worked to provide for our family. And letting me come with him Barbies and all.

6) Always being there for every soccer game, softball game, dance recital, play, and every other extracurricular I decided to embark upon. 

7) The very first time my heart was broken, my dad came upstairs, didn't say anything, but held me so hard as I was sobbing my heart out. He didn't leave until I fell asleep. 

8) My dad is never one to not share his thoughts on politics, or religion. I am so thankful for his faith in The Lord and love for this country. 

9) My Hallmark Movie buddy. We can watch Hallmark movies over and over again and they never get old. And there's that moment in every single one where one of us will say, "He wants to kiss her, he wants to hug her, he wants to love her" (a la Sandra Bullock in Miss. Congeniality). 

10) For putting up with three women for 20 years. A house full of estrogen and hormones. It's not easy- but he does it. 

And lastly: For letting me know how proud of me he is on a daily basis. It means the world to me.

I wouldn't be the person I am today without the love and support of my father.

Seeing all of the post on Facebook and Instagram yesterday about all of the "best dads" out there was really wonderful! There are some great ones out there! At the same time, my heart is breaking for those who don't have the "best dads". Or for those who do not have their dads here anymore to spend that special day with. My heart goes out to you. In my life recently I have come to notice how incredibly important it is to spend time with those you love. No one is promised tomorrow. As annoying as my Dad's snores are (think. . . Chainsaw),and the phrase "Are all of the curling irons off?!" EVERYTIME we leave the house, and the angry stomps to the garage about something breaking in the house- I love it all. I wouldn't change a thing. 

I love you Dad! Thank you. 

May sunbeams find you!

Lindsay

One Hand in My Pocket.

"Hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morrisette was one of my favorite songs when I was 6, and then again when I was in college. I thought I knew the meaning of this song at 19, but the lyrics settle with me now more than ever. At 19, I thought by 24 I would absolutely have it all figured out. But here I am, almost 25 and I'm more clueless than ever about this thing called life. 

I guess I could say I thought I would be somewhere else by now. I would have a career, maybe a husband, live in a big city or on the beach, be able to afford that convertible I have always wanted, and really be a "grown up" out there on my own. 

Little did I know, things don't always turn out how you think they will. One of my favorite phrases is, "If you want to hear God laugh tell him your plans". I don't think I would have ever foreseen I would be just starting my career, going back to school, living at home with my parents, driving the same car I did when I was 17, realized that not everyone marries their high school sweetheart, and still residing in little ole Sumerduck. 

Although I think my 19 year old self might have been a little disappointed by this reality that is my life, I wouldn't change a single thing. Sure I complain quite frequently about wanting to live in my own place in a big city or near a beach somewhere, but that's not in my near future. And that's okay! 

How blessed I am to have two parents that let me still live in their house and actually like having me at home? I have to stop sometimes and take a step back because I find myself seriously complaining about having parents who love me too much and want to help and support me in any and every way they can. How amazing is it that my little Saturn has had little to no problems since I got it in 2007? Holla atcha Saturn. I'm so glad I found out at 20 (and again at 22 & 23) that some people are just not meant to be together. Though I think I'm a little behind (I had a plan remember?) I am so amazed I found my calling and it's something I love studying and working towards. 

I look around at all my friends who are getting married, having kids, moving out on their own, starting new jobs, and it's all so exciting!

If someone would have asked me 6 months ago, I would have been honest and said, "I'm jealous. Yes. Jealous. I want to do those things!". That bitter evil green monster would always get the better of me. 

But now, I have a sort of new perspective on things. Maybe it's the beautiful weather getting to me, or the pretty blue/green calming tones all around, but I'm happy about life right now. I have found a place of peace within my heart. We're all a part of some journey. We all have our own story to tell. We all battle demons of some kind. We all reach these milestones at some point in our lives. Some sooner, some later, some never at all, but we're all in this crazy thing called life together. 

I don't know exactly what my future looks like at all. I don't know exactly where I'll be, what I'll be doing, who's going to be around, or where my journey is going to take me. And I find that the most exciting part of all.

 I know what my calling is. I know that I need to be in a field where I am helping others. The rest? I'm looking forward to seeing what happens. 

"What it all boils down to, Is that no one's really got it figured out just yet

'cause I've got one hand in my pocket and the other one is giving a high five".

May sunbeams find you!

Lindsay

Happy Poppaw's Birthday!

All week my mom has been saying that she doesn't like Mother's Day. In October 2010, my Mommaw (my mom's mother) passed away. Although it gets a little easier every day, my mom still misses her so very much. Especially on days devoted specifically to mothers and grandmothers. I am beyond blessed to have had such an amazing and supportive Mom and Mommaw. I could go on and on. But, since I didn't want to make my Mom sad on this special day, it was decided it would be "Happy Poppaw's Birthday" (Ironically enough it is his birthday! Go Figure). 

My handsome Poppaw turned 79 years old today. This man is truly incredible. My entire family says he is the toughest man we know, and it's true. Listening to him tell stories of when he was younger validates these thoughts. He was a rascal and he'd pick a fight just to fight. That changed a bit when he met my Mommaw, but my mom said he still had a bit of a fighting side that she can remember. He's also very outspoken about his thoughts and beliefs. And LOUD. That must be where we get it from. 

But while this man was a tough Marine, he is also one to not hold back the tears. He has one of the softest hearts I have ever known. When my Mommaw was sick, I was completely amazed at how beautifully he took care of her. It was indescribable the love you could see and feel between them. I hope to one day have and feel that kind of love. The picture below is back when they were dating. I asked him once why his legs on top of hers and he said, "Well, I knew what I had and wanted everyone else to know it too". Presh. Just presh.

And oh so handsome! 

My Poppaw is also one not to "put things lightly". He kind of just tells it like it is. One conversation recently was about my looking for jobs this upcoming school year. I explained my professor advised I start looking for full time teaching positions in a self contained classroom. I said I wasn't sure if I was going to do that and that maybe I would like to begin by looking for assistant teacher positions. "Well what would you do that for?!" said Poppaw, with his Southwest Virginia twang. I told him because I just wasn't sure if I was ready for the responsibilities of a full time teacher. His reply, "That's your problem Lin, you never take a chance". He was right. It's not that I am not confident in my skills and abilities, I am. But I had been baby stepping my way up to what I want to do so badly. I have been holding myself back. 

This year I have begun to push myself. To stop talking about things and actually doing them. Even if it's really hard and kind of scares me. No one is going to teach for me. This is going to be very hard, and very scary. But so unbelievably rewarding. I can't wait to get in to my own classroom. Where before my fear held me back, now I'm ready to get in there. To jump in and take a chance! 

I will end with my favorite picture of my Poppaw. The man who is not one to mince words, but also one of the first to say how proud he is and how much he loves me.

HAPPY POPPAW's BIRTHDAY!

May sunbeams find you!

Lindsay